


Take a moment and find yourself

by AutisticWriter



Series: Riley's Prompt Meme Fills [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caring, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Forehead Kisses, Gift Fic, Hugs, Multi, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Post-Season/Series 04, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Swearing, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 10:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17042132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: The trauma of living in a place like Beach City has taken its toll on Sour Cream. But even when he feels his worst, he has Jenny and Buck to help him through it.





	Take a moment and find yourself

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [TyDieHighFive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyDieHighFive/pseuds/TyDieHighFive) in the [AutisticWriters_Personal_Prompt_Meme](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/AutisticWriters_Personal_Prompt_Meme) collection. 



People think that PTSD only comes from directly experiencing a traumatic event, but it doesn’t just happen that way. Sometimes, just witnessing a distressing event can be enough to trigger those centres in your brain, causing you to develop post traumatic stress disorder.

Sour Cream is one of those people. It didn’t happen to him personally, but being there was enough to warp his brain and make him mentally ill. To be honest, even though he knows this happens to other people too, he sometimes feels… pathetic.

One day, when he, Jenny and Buck sit in Buck’s bedroom, he nibbles on his bottom lip and decides to voice this thought.

“Guys?” he says, eyes closed. “Am I pathetic for getting PTSD from that?”

In less than a second, Jenny and Buck have looked away from the TV and spun to stare at him.

“How can you say that about yourself?” Jenny demands, folding her arms and staring at him.

“Yeah, man, having that diagnosis isn’t pathetic, whatever triggered it,” Buck says.

The thing is, he knows all of this. He knows only 25% of people who go through a traumatic event get PTSD, so it makes sense that his boyfriend and girlfriend aren’t also diagnosed despite seeing the same thing. He knows that being an anxious person made him more likely to get it. He knows that what he saw was terrifying and everyone in the town was terrified, so it’s not pathetic in the slightest. He knows he knows he knows…

But that doesn’t make the thoughts go away.

“I know,” he mumbles, hugging his knees to his chest. “I just meant…”

“We know what you mean, SC,” Jenny says, putting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing gently. “You’re thinking about how people like Steven don’t have PTSD, aren’t you? And he may have been through worse things, but you’re allowed to feel bad too. It doesn’t make you weak.”

Sour Cream sighs, his eyes stinging. “I know. Thanks, guys.”

When his boyfriend and girlfriend wrap their arms around him, he doesn’t pull away.

\---

_There’s something flying towards Beach City, a huge thing hurtling towards their small town from outer space. An order to evacuate has been given, but he can’t concentrate on anything other than fear. Is it a meteorite? Is the town going to be destroyed? What if everyone can’t get out of the city in time?_

_As a panic attack grips him, Sour Cream stumbles as Mom bundles him and Onion into the car, his heart pounding as if it might explode._

_Is he going to die? Are Jenny and Buck going to die?_

_He sobs into his knees as the thing hurtles towards his city, overwhelmed with terror._

That was the moment, his doctor thinks, that it began. The PTSD, he means. But things didn’t get better. Beach City has been thrown into danger again and again, his town getting damaged and his friends getting hurt.

He comes across as a very chill guy, but he feels like he’s dying inside.

\---

_Onion is missing. Onion is missing. Onion is missing._

_What the fuck is happening to this town?_

_People are getting kidnapped? Steven and Lars are gone. Are they dead?_

_Are they all going to die?_

“SC, wake up!”

Sour Cream jolts awake, blinking tears out of his eyes as his heart drums inside his chest. The lights are on and Buck and Jenny sit up in bed, staring at him.

“It’s okay, man, it was just a dream,” Buck says, voice soft. Without his sunglasses on, Sour Cream can see the tears in his eyes.

“Try to calm down,” Jenny whispers, her hand rubbing circles on his heaving back.

But he can’t calm down. Because those things he dreamed about really happened and he was so terrified and – oh shit, he’s having a panic attack.

His heart palpitates and his breathing shudders, and Sour Cream curls up on his side and longs for it to stop. But panic attacks don’t just stop on their own like that.

“Shh, it’s okay, SC,” Jenny whispers. “Try to calm your breathing. Remember what the doc said? Breathe in for seven seconds, hold it for five and breathe out for seven.”

“We’re here, man,” Buck says. “That’s it, breathe nice and slowly. It was just a nightmare. You’re safe.”

Sour Cream tries to calm his breathing like they said, and reaches for their hands. He needs to touch something to ground himself. If he doesn’t feel something real, he gets lost in his mind.

Understanding this (it’s not the first panic attack they’ve seen, after all), they clasp his clammy and it takes Sour Cream a moment to find himself through the haze of fear.

But it helps.

He is here. He is real he is safe.

And they’re here.

After several minutes of jagged breathing and sobbing, the panic attack ends, leaving him trembling and feeling sick. But Buck and Jenny don’t let go, and both press kisses to his sweaty forehead.

“Are you feeling better now?” Jenny says.

Sour Cream nods, managing a smile. “Y-Yeah.”

What would he do without them?

He loves them so much.

They mean the world to him.


End file.
